


Leaving

by Liddolyesplease



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Heartbreak, Levi is happy with wifey, Love Confessions, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Levi/Petra Ral, Rejection, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27740986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liddolyesplease/pseuds/Liddolyesplease
Summary: And even if the two of you were friends, she told herself, it hardly mattered. He was, despite his very vocal protests, friends with Hange, another woman. So one more to the list was no matter of concern.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Petra Ral, Levi/Reader
Comments: 14
Kudos: 145





	Leaving

Levi sat in his office, glaring down at the table full of paperwork. Usually he had a better work ethic then this, completing his work neatly and on time. Today, however, his mind was rather jumbled up. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t bring himself to fully focus on the words sprawled on the paper infront of him.

Instead, all he could think about was how, a few days back, Petra had confessed her undying love and devotion to him. He had awkwardly tried to turn her down, only for her to beg him to actually think about it before making a decision. She had insisted that she could break down his walls, if only he would give her a chance.

That had been before they had faced an attack from Marley, so he hadn’t bothered to give her offer more then a moments notice, dismissing any notions of romance and too busy with trying to keep his brats alive. But now, he was seriously considering her words. Not the idea of being with her, but the idea of just having someone.

He had spent so much of his life alone. He hadn’t felt a warm embrace since the loss of his mother. But maybe, maybe he could actually have a companion. Someone to settle down with, someone who could support him.

Petra would be easy to settle down with, if he was willing to abandon everything that made the idea of being with her uncomfortable. Like the age difference. He was in his early thirties and Petra had just turned twenty. Even though she was the one pushing for the relationship, it still made him feel like a creep. And he knew everyone would point fingers at him, especially since he was her superior officer and she was directly in his squad. Even if he decided to not give a flying fuck about that, the idea of opening his heart to someone who he would probably send to their death at one point was uncomfortable for him.

Sighing, he decided he would turn her down firmly the next time he saw her. There was no reason for him to indulge her, he harboured no romantic feelings for her and it was best she got over her little crush as soon as possible. He would try to be nice as he could about it.

Mind made up, he went back to work.

* * *

Petra stood infront of her captain’s office door, wanting nothing more then to go inside, but too scared to. She had confessed to him in the spur of the moment and was now afraid of facing rejection from him. Although a part of her, the part that was hopelessly in love with him, refused to give up.

It was well known that Captain Levi wasn’t the type to take any sort of lover. In fact, someone had even passed a rumour that during his health inspection, he had checked the box for sexual partners as none. Of course, that rumour had also been promptly strangled to a graceless death once he got wind of it and made the entire survey corps run till they dropped. Everyday. For a week.

She knew he was hardly what one considered attractive, and that the attention and admiration he got from his title often withered away because of his stone cold personality. But she neither cared for his looks, nor his rank.

She was one of the few people who had noticed his kindness. The way he went out of his way to help his comrades, whether it was on the battlefield or giving advice. The fact that he gathered momentos of their fallen cormades. How he often carried expeditions on his back to lower the death rate. All those little things that others failed to notice, she had. And all of it made her fall hopelessly in love with him.

She could tell he thought that spending the rest of his life on his own and dying on the battlefield was his fate, but she would do everything possible to convince him otherwise.

Resolving herself to convince him, she knocked. The door creaked open, and peering in, she realized he wasn’t in his office. Suddenly she remembered that most of the soldiers had gone out to drink, she figured he must have gone along with them.

Shrugging, she decided it would be best to approach him the next day and decided to go to sleep early rather then seek him out right now.

She had no idea how much she would regret not going to the bar that night.

* * *

The bar was packed. Levi scrunched up his nose in disgust at the sight before him. Rowdy soldiers laughed and sang together. The smell of booze wreaked in the air and someone was playing the guitar.

He had been dragged into this filthy place by Hanji. All the soldiers had the night off and wanted to enjoy it to the fullest. The only reason Levi had allowed Hanji to drag him in here was because he refused to let the 104th cadets drink. It was entertaining to snatch the glass of alcohol out of their hands, watch them fume, turn around and then falter at the sight of their captain being the culprit.

Once Eren and his little group left the bar, Levi decided his job of torturing the brats was done, and left a little while after them. He had initially wanted to leave the moment they had, but Hanji had decided to play her usual game of pointing out random, pretty girls in hopes of inticing him to ‘getting some’. Once she got desperate at his constant rejection and started highlighting men, he tripped her and left at the speed of lightning.

Walking slowly in the darkness, he let himself enjoy the peace and quiet. The Survey Corps headquarters were always loud. Something was always going on. Whether it was training, mission plans, Hanji, the brats wreaking havoc or Eren accidentally transforming for the unteempth time, he could never enjoy any genuine quietness.

The sound of a struggle broke him out of his thoughts, eyes narrowing as he turned to the source.

‘Let go of me-I said let mph GO-’

‘Come on we just wanna have some fun-’

He inched closer to the alleyway. Spotting three men surrounding a struggling woman, pulling at her clothes, the sight had his blood boiling. The image of another woman, older, being pulled at by men too strong for her, just like this, flashed through his mind.

Without a second thought, he lunged.

* * *

The next day, the Survey Corps headquarters was rather quiet. Over half the soldiers nursed hangovers and pretty much died at anything louder then a whisper. The former 104th cadets, who had been upset at not getting to drink, suddenly felt glad. The faces of their superior officers gave away exactly how horrible they felt.

Petra chuckled at the sight of her cormades and their pathetic state, relieved that she hadn’t gone out, sothe newbies wouldn’t see her in this less-then-decent condition as well.

‘Umm, excuse me?’

Almost half the room turned towards the door. A woman stood there, her long hair tied in a braid and holding a basket full of goodies in her hand.

‘I’m here to visit someone. I was hoping someone could guide me to him. ’

Armin, closest to the door, smiled pleasantly and approached her. The rest of the room returned to their business of trying to look alive despite feeling the opposite inside. No one else bothered hearing what was going on, although Petra couldn’t help taking note of their visitor.

You were clearly a civilian and, Petra had to admit, quite the beauty. Wearing a white button up shirt with a light green vest on top and a long brown skirt. A rather plain look, but it suited you nonetheless.

Armin began leading you away, and Petra realised she hadn’t learned who you were visiting. Oh well, it was almost time to give the captain his tea. The mystery could be solved later.

* * *

Holding a tray with tea, some biscuits and two cups, she knocked on the door. She could hear muffled noises, it was probably Commander Erwin or Hange inside with him. She smiled to herself, glad that she had brought more then one cup.

Once given permission, she entered, and found herself rather startled by the sight infront of her.

For once, the captain wasn’t seated at his desk. He sat on the couch, casually leaning back, one leg crossed over the other, an arm splayed on the top right of the sofa. On his left, sat the pretty woman who Armin had led away. The basket she had brought with her had been opened, and its contents, which included cookies and box’s of tea, were strewn about on the table infront of them.

‘Oi put the tea down already.’

Snapping out of her thoughts at the Captain’s voice, Petra swallowed roughly, trying to keep her expression neutral and set the tray down. She began to reach for the kettle to pour it for him, all the while trying to not give into curiousity and the ugly feeling in her gut by looking at the woman occupying the other end of the couch. A part of her sorely wished she had only brought one cup instead of two.

‘There’s no need to pour it for me. You can leave now’

‘B-but captain I always-’

‘There’s no time. We have patrol in the afternoon, go tell the others and prepare accordingly. If I find anyone slacking off because of last night, I’ll kick the shit out of them.’

There was no room to even think about disobeying that tone, so, with a clear ‘Yes sir!’, she stiffly saluted him and left the room. Each step felt strangely heavier then the last.

* * *

When Petra had joined the Survey Corps, one of her favorite activities had easily been horse riding. It was relaxing for her, even on patrol. The light breeze that accompanied it made her feel fresh and it was good excercise too. She often got lost in her thoughts during this time. Although, not for the first time, her thoughts were centered around the man leading the patrol.

She didn’t contemplate how strangely handsome he looked with his hair swishing back and forth like that. Nor did she think of ways to get him to accept her. Today, she could only mentally question him.

Who were you? How long had you known each other? Were you a friend? Or a fan? Wait no, Captain Levi didn’t entertain fans, no matter how attractive. The two of you had clearly met before. Were you his lov-

Petra slammed the brakes on that thought before it could finish, calming herself. She was getting too out of hand and wild with her assumptions. You had likely been an aquantince of some sort. Nothing more.

And even if the two of you were friends, she told herself, it hardly mattered. He was, despite his very vocal protests, friends with Hange, another woman. So one more to the list was no matter of concern.

Determined to shut out the voice in her head that alluded to that you being something more then a friend, Petra nudged her horse fiercely. She simply wasn’t use to him being even slightly friendly towards other women. That’s all.

The strange burning in her chest never quite left.

* * *

Later, she learned that you had come to thank him. Captain Levi had saved you from some thugs last night. Relieved, she told herself to not think about you anymore. Clearly, your visit had been a one time thing and Captain had just been polite. She doubted she would see you again. And so, she carried on with her life, dismissing all her thoughts about you.

Three months later, they had returned from a mission and stopped for a while in the civillian district that came before their headquarters. Everyone dispersed, with Eld dragging Gunther away to the flower shop to buy something for his fiance and Eren and his group heading to a food stall. After Olou made another attempt at hitting on her and bit his tongue, Petra promptly went looking for the Captain.

She figured he was probably at some tea stall, trying different tea’s. Or maybe buying cleaning products. Humming, she strolled along the road, eyes scanning the crowd. He had turned her confession down, but she was still determined to let him know that she cared. Maybe spending some time with him would reassure him that she was serious? She was willing to wait for him as long as necessary.

When she finally found the person she had been looking for, her heart dropped in her stomach.

Captain Levi was sitting at a little cafe, drinking tea, just like she had thought he would be. However, he wasn’t alone. You, dressed smartly in a knee length yellow dress, sat next to him. The two of you appeared to be peacefully chatting and sipping tea, clearly interacting with more familiarity then two strangers were supposed to possess towards each other. An indication that this wasn’t a just a coincidental second meeting. Or third.

Petra hadn’t cried since her first expedition, something she was proud of. She had faced deathly situations on a mothly basis since then and had refused to shed a single tear. But right now, as she turned on her heel and walked away with as much dignity as she could muster up, she really wanted nothing more then to sob into her pillow.

* * *

The next time she saw you again was about nine months after the ‘Cafe Incident’. The Survey Corps had returned from a deadly mission. They had accomplished their goal, but some had sustained some injuries, fortunately incurring no loss of life. The biggest one of the injuries was captain Levi. He had gotten wounded while protecting Mikasa. The girl had gone off on her own again and nearly gotten killed.

After the doctor had looked him over and bandaged his wounds, he had been put on a week of bed rest. He had tried to vehemently argue against it, but Commander Erwin had put his foot down and ordered him to do nothing for the entire week or be suspended.

All the members of squad Levi had taken turns bringing him food and changing his bandages. Even a guilty Mikasa had helped out, shamefully apologising to Captain Levi.

Of course, it was only when it was Petra’s turn, that you chose to visit captain. Entering the room, with a tray of bread, soup and some water, she could only feel relieved that the Captain was asleep and that you were sitting far away from him on the couch while reading a book. Food containers were neatly set on the table, filled with stew and boiled vegetables.

When the door opened, you looked up and then smiled at her. The smile faded when Petra set the tray down and began talking.

‘You shouldn’t be here’

‘Excuse me?’

Maybe it was because she was feeling petty, or jealous, or both really. But she couldn’t stop herself from misusing the rules to make you go away.

‘Civillians aren’t allowed here on work days. And they certainly aren’t allowed to bring food here. You need permission from the commander or the Captain.'

It was a lie really, the entire week after a mission like this was usually considered unofficially off, hence there was no need to get permission. Several soldiers often recieved visits from concerned family members during this time. Petra knew that well. You, however, did not, and looked confused.

‘I-Levi never mentioned that- He told me I’m listed as his emergency contact and that means I don’t need permi-'

‘I checked the list. There’s no name there’

Another big, fat lie. Your name had been discreetly added to his file a month ago. Petra had bitterly discovered it while delivering the file to Commander Erwin and had accidentally opened it beforehand.

‘Are you sure? I signed the form, if you could please check agai-’

‘I’m sorry but there’s no name there. Please leave and take your things with you. You need specific permission and an actual relation to the soldier to visit’. 

Okay, she was officially a petty bitch. The part of her that felt ashamed at her own behaviour was easily overcome by the part of her that was sick and tired of being indirectly rejected by Captain Levi for this- this woman. She couldn’t help feeling victorious as you made to gather your things.

‘She doesn’t need to go anywhere’

Petra’s eyes widened, while you stopped your movements and immediately rushed to his side, asking him how he was feeling. He answered lowly, voice hoarse from sleep, assuring you that he was fine.

Like a thief caught stealing, Petra made to leave the room as silently as possible. As she shut the door, she briefly made eye contact with Captain Levi, whose usually emotionless eyes had morphed into a dark glare. He obviously hadn’t missed out on what she had tried to do and if that last look had been anything to go by, she was in some major trouble.

* * *

Levi calmly ate his stew, enjoying the fresh and rich flavour. You had made it for him, hence why he couldn’t help savouring it even more. You had left a while ago, after he had made you leave. You ou couldn’t stay overnight and he wasn’t comfortable with you walking in the dark by yourself.

With a slight smile, he mulled over your existence. You had been a part of his life for a year now and he honestly hadn’t expected things to turn out the way they had when he first you.

You, the crying, shivering girl he had walked home that night, had now become the most important person in his life.

And, Levi scowled, you had just been majorly disrespected by one of his subordinates. He had expected better from Petra. She had allowed her personal feelings to get in the way of being a professional comrade and had misquoted official guidelines.

He had initially been furious and had wanted to punish her immediately. However, you had insisted on finding out what the matter was and had stopped him from acting out in anger. It was solely because he had you calming him down that he hadn’t taken any drastic steps.

You had been the voice of reason, pointing out to him about how young Petra was, and how to her, she had watched her first love pretty much fall into the arms of another woman. She was just a young girl who couldn’t bottle up her feelings properly yet. Professionally punishing her now would only lead to more outlandish behaviour. Her feelings were something she would grow out of, or at least learn to control. Any official repercussions would lead to a bad mark on her record and would probably make the matter worse. His usual style of dealing with brats just wouldn’t work this time.

With a heavy sigh, he leaned into the pillows, wondering where he had gone wrong. He had rejected Petra firmly when had found the chance, which had been a day after meeting you. He had tried to be gentle about it, not wanting to hurt his comrade and had thought she was mature enough to not take it too personally. Obviously, he had been wrong.

While Petra hadn’t approached him with any more confessions, he had caught her looking at him with that weird, longing expression more times then he was comfortable admitting. Her feelings had begun to interfere with her behaviour, and that was intolerable. No matter what you said, he would have to do something about this sooner or later.

The solution came to him a week later.

* * *

Petra stood in Commander Erwin’s office, shoulders straight, arms in a firm salute. She could hardly believe her ears.

‘I-I’m being promoted sir?’

‘Eventually, yes. You and the rest of the senior members of Levi squad will support Section Commander Hange and train new squads formed from the 105th and 106th cadet corps. The end result will be four squads, each led by one of you, giving you the rank of Captain in about a year. The rest have already been informed.’

She stared in awe, not sure if this was real. She had walked in here, nervous, expecting an official warning for her behaviour with the woman whose-name-she-refused-to-even-say-in-her-mind. It had been four months since then, and captain Levi hadn’t said a word to her about it, only assigning Sasha in her place to bring him tea in the morning. She had figured her punishment had been the unnaturally long wait for it and that the Commander would rip her a new one for making the Survey Corps soldiers look disgraceful in front of civillians. After all, the Military Police and the Garrisons were the ones lacking discipline, while the Survey Corps was reknown for being the prim and proper group.

With a determined smile, she profusely thanked the Commander, feeling genuinely grateful and excited at the prospect of leading the next batch of soldiers.

‘The Special operation Squad has been officially disbanded. All four of you will head to the Northern Survey Corps headquarters with the cadets-’

Her eyes widened, heart plummeting.

’-and train them to respond to severe situations in that area. The military there was far too unprepared for Rod Reiss’s Titan attack. It Marley attacked from there, we wouldn’t be able to withstand it.'

‘Sir the northern branch..?’

She hadn’t mean to interrupt him, but the words had left her mouth before she could stop them. Erwin raised an eyebrow at her, his expression cool and tone even, but still sharp enough to make her wince.

‘Is there a problem officer Ral?’

‘No sir!’

‘Good. Prepare to head out in a week’s time. After a year, they give soldiers the oppurtunity to settle their family in the civillian areas. So make sure to fill out the paperwork for it.’

With one last salute, Petra made to leave, only to stop dead at the Commanders voice. This time it was dry and toneless, but the threat was clear in it.

‘One last thing, Officer Ral. Do try to behave respectfully and professionally around the family members of the higher ups there. Not everyone is as forgiving as Captain Levi. Some would end your career in minutes.’

Unable to look him in the eye, she bowed her head in agreement.

‘Dismissed, Officer Ral. Have a safe trip and work hard. ’

* * *

After fleeing to the safety of female barracks and finally finding herself alone, she let go of her somber demeanour and let the tears of humiliation loose.

Her promotion wasn’t about her doing a good job so far. In fact, it was a way of saying that she wasn’t doing her current job well enough. She had known that some soldiers would be sent to the Northern areas to improve the military there, but had figured Captain Miche and his squad would take on that responsibility.

The only way she and the rest of her squad had been nominated for it would be if Captain Levi had suggested them. And for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out why. Besides the incident with you, she had still been dutiful as ever. Everything done on time and as efficiently as possible. So why had Captain decided to punish her like this. Sending her away from all her cormades, uprooting her career so carelessly. Just why.

Wiping her eyes, she realized she would just have to ask him herself.

* * *

‘This isn’t punishment Petra’

‘But Captain, it feels like it is-’

‘No, you dumb brat. If this was punishment, why would the rest of the squad be going with you? Why the hell are they so happy, frolicking around like little high-as-fuck shits huh? It’s because it’s a fucking honour. All of you are being assigned to build and lead the Northern military forces. A military that hardly exists, you shit heads are going to built it from scratch. And here you are whining in front of me, like a petulant little brat’

She gazed at him, wide eyed. Opening her mouth to talk, she immediately shut up as he glared fiercely at her.

‘Stop holding yourself back because of your…’feelings’ for me. You’re more then this. You’ve done a damn good job on the field and this is your reward. Now get out of my office, go pack and then fucking celebrate your promotion with the rest of those hormonal brats. Understood? Good.'

With a wave of his hand, he dismissed her. He could only hope his words had gotten through to her and that she understood that he truly hadn’t meant to punish her.

Shoulders slumped, she walked down the hallway to her room. Captain Levi’s words had cleared her head, however, Petra thought to herself sadly, the sight of you nursing your swollen, clearly pregnant stomach, while Armin and Mikasa helped you up the stairs, had made a far stronger impact.

It really was a good thing she was leaving.

* * *

A/N: I read too many fanfics about Levi breaking the readers heart for Petra 😤😤. So, I decided I would (realistically) break Petra’s heart. Not for the reader. But, for reasons that make sense, rather then Levi rejecting Petra specifically for the reader. Also, Levi is in his mid thirties and reader is at least 27. I kinda wanna make a part that explores the hints of Levi and Readers relationship I gave in this, but I don’t know if anyone would want to read that. My tumblr is @liddolwhynot2000 (have no idea of how to actually tag it someone help me)


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